Be your real self in an interview

Be your real self in an interview Interview adage: If you cant get hired being your true self, you dont want to work there. Life adage: If youre not comfortable showing your true self then you probably have a disconnect between who you are and who you want to be. You really need to address that before it derails not only your career but also your relationships. Here are three ways to make sure you stick to who you are when you interview: 1. Recognize that who you are is a moving target. I find that showing my true self stems from knowing my true self. I am always learning about who I am, and then I always have to how I convey myself to other peoplethe two need to match, and I have found that its not so easy. For example, we had guys come to put new roofs on old barn buildings. The farmer told me that most of the buildings we are re-roofing are buildings people around here would tear down. People build new, shiny metal buildings now. Our yard full of old, wooden sheds, is something between a historic monument and an abandoned farm. I knew for sure that I love the old wood buildings too much to tear them down. I imagine the conversation went something like this: Roofer: Youre gonna put a new roof on that thing? Farmer: Yeah, my wifes from New York City and they really like the old wood barns there. Roofer: [Shakes his head] Farmer: [Makes some odd motion with his head that is a cross between women-are-crazy and please-dont-talk-to-me-Ive-gotta-go-feed-pigs.] The farmer leaves and I see the guys are putting on metal roofs instead of shingles. I call the farmer. He comes back. I tell him, The roofs gonna be gross. Shingles go on top of a wood shed. The guy said metal lasts longer. Its not period-correct. The farmer says, Were in this period. People do metal now. Im silent. 2. If its not working you are probably not being your true self. Im silent so the farmer says, Okay. Talk to the guys. See if you can change to shingles. But you cant spend any extra money on it. The farm is paying for it and my parents will think youre nuts. So I yell up to the roofers about how metal is not period-correct. They dont even stop working. I say, How much is it to switch to shingles? Turns out theyd have to throw out the metal. I want to be an accommodating, dont-rock-the-boat farmers wife. I want to just let them go ahead, but I cant stop having ideas, and Ill have to look at this roof every day for the rest of my life. I try to use a nice, non-threatening voice: Can I call the place you buy the metal from to see if theyll take it back? I call. It doesnt work. And really, trying to be nonthreatening was a nonstarter for getting someone to take the metal back. The thing is, Im glad I tried. At least I know now that there was no way to get a shingle roof. And it feels good to be annoying and pushy because thats who I am. I think maybe people here in farmland are getting used to it. I like to think they are charmed. Or at least curious. 3. Dont let the type of person youre dealing with change the person you are. So right in the middle of me trying to figure out if I can be my regular self or if I need to be a little nicer and maybe ask people about the weather a little more oftenright when Im trying to figure that out, I get this email from executive search specialist Kathy Harris, about how to be your real self in an interview no matter what sort of person you are facing across the table. I think everyone we talk with fits into one of these categories even the roofers (which I think fall into Kathys disinterested category). So here I give you Kathys list of the types of people you might face, and how to best respond to them: Autocratic â€" This domineering style might put you on edge or distract you with concerns about the work environment under this type of authority. Dont take it personally or let it throw you off. Even the most approachable CEO can have a bad day or quirky interview style. Its not necessarily reflective of their management style. Candidates should almost over prepare for interviews by researching the company, key executives and initiatives. Its not just enough to look at the website and know revenues and industry position. Candidates who prep by rehearsing their key messages and questions for the interviewer are more confident and less likely to be caught off guard. Folksy/Neighborly â€" This overly casual style might make you lose focus or feel so comfortable you let the conversation drift to off-topic matters. This can be especially deadly â€" its still an interview. Smile and look for a segue to bring the conversation back to the company and position. I can see why people like working here. Youve reinforced my desire to join and make a contribution to this organization. Please tell me more about some of your top initiatives. Uninterested â€" This distracted style might make you wonder if they are even seriously considering you for the position, or perhaps they are just going through the motions for some unknown reason. Keep in mind that a busy executive wouldnt spend time in an interview for no reason. They may have come from a difficult meeting, be trying to solve another problem, or havent had time to thoroughly review your resume. They are listening and youre in their office. Stick to your plan. Salesy â€" This look at everything we can do for you style might make you feel this is a slam dunk and leave you complacent. Dont get overconfident â€" you dont have the job yet. Most senior hires are consensus decisions made by a team. Its important to give them the answer to the question Why hire him? that will inevitably come later. Brick Wall â€" This hard-to-grasp style might be frustrating in its lack of feedback. You just cant get a read on them and think to yourself who is this person? This is where preparation builds the confidence to speak to the value you bring to the organization. Keep it business-like and professional. A good question to ask is what do they see as the greatest challenge facing the company at the present time. Sometimes even senior people need an icebreaker. Contrarian â€" This style seems to be just plain argumentative. This is especially tough for candidates to get past. Ive known organizations where an interviewer intentionally takes this position to see how candidates react in difficult or stressful situations. Will they lose their cool? Become agitated or distracted? Smile. Take a breath and think Teflon.